Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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