the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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