I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
