i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
