East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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