is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
