chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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