So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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