when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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