it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
