do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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