i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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