I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
