My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
