I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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