Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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