I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
