girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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