I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
