you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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