First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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