Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
