Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
