do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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