At least make sure they are 18
Why
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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