LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
