there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
