if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
