Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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