and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
