ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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