Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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