Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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