Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
