I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
