girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
