You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
