He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
