you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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