I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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