I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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