Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
