walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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