you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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