take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
