real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
