Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
