SEEEEXXX PLEASE
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
