Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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