WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
my poor anus
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
