Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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