apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
