Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
