That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
